“Put every great teacher in a room, and they’d agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they’d argue about everything.”


Bruce Lee

“My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.”


Bruce LaBruce

“I do sarcasm really poorly.”


Brittany Murphy

“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”


Bob Odenkirk

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”


Bob Hope

“She not only kept her lovely figure, she’s added so much to it.”


Bob Fosse

“[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”


Billy Wilder

“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”


Billy Wilder

“CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.”


Bill Watterson

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”


Bill Watterson

“Muscles come and go; flab lasts.”


Bill Vaughan

“If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.”


Bill Shankly

“Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.”

Bill Bryson

“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”


Benny Hill

“A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.”


Benjamin Franklin

“He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.”


Benjamin Disraeli

“Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.”


Benjamin Disraeli

“A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.”


Benjamin Disraeli