Funny Quotes is a list of quotes that you can enjoy. It will help you brighten your mood.

Funny Quotes

“Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high school. 3. Spend time alone. 4. Don’t take a comedy course. 5. Read other humorists but don’t worship them. 6. Don’t get your hopes up.”


Bruce McCall

“Put every great teacher in a room, and they’d agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they’d argue about everything.”


Bruce Lee

“Human beings are like tea-bags. You don’t know your own strength until you get into hot water.”


Bruce Laingen

“I’m gonna pray for him.”


Bruce Irvin

“Did you write the words, or the lyrics?”


Bruce Forsyth

“Life is too short to do the things you don’t love doing.”


Bruce Dickinson

“I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ‘Whoa, I’m way too high!'”

Bruce Baum

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.”

Bruce Baum

“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.”

Brooke Shields

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

Brooke Shields

“I performed at Mom and Dad’s party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself!”


Britney Spears

“Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He’s funny. He’s cute. He’s great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that’s cool.”


Britney Spears

“Where the hell is Australia anyway?”


Britney Spears

“I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.”


Britney Spears

“The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.”


Britney Spears

“As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.”


Britney Spears

“Every experience in your life is being orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward.”


Brian Tracy

“Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!”


Brian Tracy

“If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He’d have put grass up there.”


Brian Clough

“You could be adding gasoline to a roaring fire. We understand that. But this is who we are.”

Brett Brown