I always smile when I think of him and I think of him often. Perry Gilbert (P.G.) Harris was my grandfather and he taught me the 7 rules for success in life and business.
In my life I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, working with or mentoring under some of the legendary personal and business development minds in history. I’ve learned a ton from their teaching. But, all in all, my value system and my work ethics come directly from the teaching of my Grandfather. P.G. Harris was a farmer, a wheat farmer in Sumner County, in the state of Kansas, USA.
The landscape was stuff of poems and song, rolling prairie as far as the eye can see with wheat fields for miles and miles. And P.G. Harris fit the landscape. He was tall and lanky and tough. He always wore bib overalls, farmers’ boots, a farmers’ hat and had a farmers tan.
My Grandfather worked about 600 acres of wheat and pasture land and I worked with him from the time I was old enough to work. He was known as a successful farmer and a pretty good businessman. And, he had rules. As I grow older and begin to reflect on life I also began to realize that Grandpa’s Rules applied to more than farming, they applied to the art of business and life. Surprisingly, I also realized that along the way I had taken his rules and adapted them to modern day business applications. So far I have recorded 16 separate “Grandpa’s Rules” that I’ve adapted and use every day.
Here are just 7 of the Grandpa Rules;
- (Effort) “Hard work never hurt anyone so get busy!”
He taught me my most valuable skill and that was a powerful work ethic. I believe that a work ethic is one of the most desired skills that an employer looks for. Too many people just don’t get it and want big pay for little effort, and that’s not the reality for success in this life anyway. In fact I believe that a solid work ethic is an important SKILL that employers find extremely valuable.
- (Goals) “The world doesn’t owe you a thing; you’ve got to earn it!”
Congratulations if your family has money or if you’ve won the lottery, but if you wait for the phone to ring with your “big” opportunity, I’ll look for you in the welfare line. It’s important to learn early that you will earn everything that you get in life through clarity of what you want out of life, then, add in hard work; dedication; focus; commitment; passion; discipline and an ongoing personal development program. The old adage is still as true today as it was a hundred years ago, the harder you work the luckier you get!
- (Pride) “Whatever you do in life, whatever it is, be the best. If you’re a ditch digger for the county you had better win the award for the best ditch digger in the county!”
There is a certain amount of pride that defines a job well done. The rule always reflects a level of personal values and honor that will reflect on you for years to come. Basically if you’re in a job that you don’t like for whatever reasons, you have two choices. The first is to slack off, work half heartedly and gripe and moan about the boss; the job; the business; co-workers and on and on. Or, according to Grandpa’s teachings, just shut up and do your job and do it well. Even though you might not enjoy what you’re doing, you owe the company a day of focused work, even your best work without complaint. They’re still paying you, right? Then when you can you find something different to do. Be proud of what you’re doing even if it’s not ideal. The right people will always eventually notice which choice you make.
- (Quality) “The job isn’t complete until it’s done right!”
In a certain part of Kansas, this statement is known as “PERRY’s RULE”. To this day it is still referred to. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been working all day and you’re tired. You should never ever be satisfied with a job that’s incomplete or just pieced together. The only job that is truly done and complete and one you can be proud of is one that’s done right! So, according to the rule, you do it until it is.
- (Effort) “Never do a job “Half-Fast”
Granddad would tolerate my mistakes, bad judgment and plain old screw ups as long as I was working hard and going full speed. This rule revolved around the idea that all is forgivable as long as you were working hard and you learned something from the issue. However, he had no time for problems caused by mistakes when someone was moving slow, half-hearted, without purpose or initiative or “Half-Fast” (read between the lines).
- (Accountability) “Your word is your bond!”
Your entire value as a human being is based on the value of your word. If you say you’re going to do something then he expected you to do it. If you agreed on a time to meet or a time to start he expected you to be there. If you broke it, he expected you to fix it. If you shook hands on a deal, he expected you to stand by it. If you didn’t, you seldom got more chances. The world is a better place only if everyone held themselves accountable
- (Empathy) “Look for the good in everyone”
Grandpa’s message was simple. It’s easy to find fault in people. This approach always then leads to ridicule and negative relations. I never once heard him say a bad word about anyone. He lived his belief. He always looked through the potential negatives and looked for a good and common ground.
In 1971 I was one of the first young people to come home from college with long hair. This discretion caused quite the uproar in my small town, to a point that my father told me to get a haircut or leave. I was very upset and jumped in my car and as requested, I left. On the way I stopped by the farm to get counsel from Grandpa. I asked him what he thought about the issue. I will never forget what he told me. True to his rules he looked at me and simply said, “I guess it’s what’s under the hair that counts.”
Today, over 40 years later, ironically I have no hair, but I think about that line nearly everyday. The foundational truths to Grandpa’s Rules apply to success in business today as much as success in life. And, as long as I do what I do, I will continue to live and teach, with pride, “Grandpa’s Rules”.
About Dan Creed
Danny P. (Dan) Creed is an award winning international business and executive coach; entrepreneur; best-selling author; world class keynote & workshop speaker; trusted advisor and CEO of FocalPoint Business Coaching of Arizona. Coach Dan is based in Phoenix Arizona but works with a worldwide customer base. He is a recognized expert in sales, management, marketing, business development and business growth strategies. http://www.businesscoachdan.com/
5 Natural Ways To Relax & Get Centered
5 Natural ways to relax and get centered.Yes, there are plenty of ways you can de-stress, unwind, enjoy time with your self and get centered. Getting centered, it sounds a little offbeat to those of you who don’t meditate or practice other self-awareness rituals. Maybe the word mindfulness is better. Either way, hear me out.
We all have a busy and hectic life, throw in kids and it gets even crazier. So how do you destress? I know you have a girls night or even guys night out to unwind and blow off steam. Aren’t their ways to do this without the potential use of alcohol and a hangover? The next morning is never any fun.
No need to be wary this doesn’t require guru knowledge on meditation, yoga just open-mindedness. Being centered merely means being at peace with who you are, in every moment. Stillness and quiet are what that means for me. To thine own self be true.
These five things will help you to de-stress and allow you to exhale. The key is to be in the moment and let your feelings, energy and mind flow in all of these exercises.
5 Natural Ways to Relax and De-Stress
First, let’s discuss journaling. Yes, we are going back to the “dear diary” days but a more grown-up version. Pick out a journal or notebook, whatever you like. You may ask “what do I write once I open the notebook (love that movie BTW, the book was even better)?”
To start, looking at a blank page can be intimidating if you’ve never journaled before. The first thing I like to do is start by writing the date at the top of the page. On days you have a lot of feelings to get out just start writing. You’re not getting graded on these entries so don’t worry about how to properly get started and use correct punctuation and grammar. Just let yourself flow.
Start with “I feel…” and go from there. The entries can be short or long. I’ve written pages upon pages before and then only a single page other times. Really allow yourself to be in the moment and let your emotions flow. Something happens during this process that is therapeutic. You’re able to self reflect and analyze a situation better, step back and see things differently. Read how to do automatic writing or journaling here.
You can do this at the end of my day, or when the mood strikes you. I believe getting emotions out and not holding them in helps to heal your spirit. At the very least, it helps you to be calm and learn about yourself.
So pick up a pen and notebook and start de-stressing. Journaling is for your personal use only. No one ever has to read it or see it, unless you want them to. Over the years I’ve used many different kinds of journals. I’m currently using this moleskin journal. I love the feel of the paper and smooth writing.
Walking in Nature
Nature is an all-encompassing cure for feeding the soul. A simple walk in nature can alleviate stress, calm you down through exercise, and feed your soul. Listening to birds chirping, wind rustling through the leaves of tall pine trees, water gently waving in the lake as the reflection of the sun bounces off the water.
That my friend is relaxing and total de-stresses the best of us. Nature almost forces you to be still and quiet. Listen to the sounds around you and lookup. Oh my gosh, the joy of just looking up! We don’t take the time to just look up and observe.
Look at the trees swaying in the wind, geese flying over information, clouds moving pass. Do this and take a breathe and exhale. The simple things we don’t pay attention to because we look down, at our devices. Busy rushing through from one stop to the next.
Take that walk in the park, listen to the sounds, and breathe. Breathe and walk with intention. It’s more of a stroll rather than a timed fast walk. Try not to have your headphones in the entire time. It’s tempting, and some days I do it myself. Or I listen to audible but nonetheless I’m still observing nature and taking it in. If you live in a busy loud city then turn on calming music.
Taking the time to do this a couple of times of a week or more, if you can, helps bring you back to being centered. Quiet on the inside to where you can hear your true self. Not the restless chatter that you hear all day. Give yourself a break and take a walk.
There are so many different types of meditation from mindfulness, transcendental, guided, sound and the list goes on and on. I’ve tried a lot of these, read about it here, to see if there was one that worked best for me or that I connected to most.
As I mention throughout my blog, no two people are the same therefore no two people will meditate or do anything for that matter the same. We will all have different experiences with meditation. Trying different types will help you not only learn what you like but also allow you to practice meditation itself.
I have found that mindfulness of breath meditation is best for me. It is bringing awareness to your breath. I prefer to be in a quiet room where I will not be interrupted, hard to find these days with 2 little shadows. Don’t be surprised if you catch me in the closet trying to get some meditation time in, just sayin’ do whatcha gotta do.
You can use an eye mask, to make it dark, I find this helps me to relax and focus. You’ll have to try again and again before you learn to really quiet the mind.
This is a learning process so please keep on the path and don’t give up. Start with a few minutes at a time and build up from there. You’ll notice over time you can meditate a little longer each time, and it becomes easier to get into that state.
Everyone should practice yoga, at least once. You have to try it to know if you like it. My yoga journey started around 16 years ago or more. I will admit that I haven’t done it continuously during those 16 years. There were some years that I didn’t practice at all. Other times I would attend a yoga class 4-5 times a week. Currently, I practice yoga in my bedroom with my favorite yoga youtube channels.
Just like meditation, there are many types of yoga styles. As a result, I’ve tried many of them and learned which ones I like best. You do the same.
Yoga has many physical benefits such as increased flexibility, muscle strengthening, lower blood pressure, reduce stress and the list goes on. As far as de-stressing, well this helps with that too.
You don’t even have to leave your own home to try, especially if classes aren’t your thing. With that yoga classes have a different environment than other “gym” type classes. Everyone is focused on themselves and their own practice. There isn’t that feeling of everyone is watching me.
The flow of the poses is very soothing once you learn the salutations or sequences. That word mindfulness comes in again. It’s hard to not be during yoga. You become very focused on your pose and breathe that this, in turn, becomes its own meditation. It never ceases to amaze me how quiet the mind gets when you are practicing yoga. It’s almost effortless.
5 – HTP
5–Hydroxytryptophan (5–HTP) is an amino acid that your body already produces. It’s derived from an African plant known as Griffonia simplicifolia. It helps to increase the serotonin levels in your body thus boosting your mood. Allowing you to be more mindful and less stressed and preoccupied.
It’s a natural supplement that offers numerous benefits including a calming effect. To learn more about 5-HTP as a natural stress reliever read the article that goes into more depth.
There you have it 5 natural ways to relax and take a moment for your self. Self-care is a buzz word that we’re hearing everywhere right now. Don’t think its not for you or you don’t have time. Making time will only improve your daily life and mental health.
Being mindful during any of these activities will bring you to a more relaxed state and bring you into alignment. Find what works best for you and continue to develop your own self-care routine.
This article is republished by https://inspirehealthandspirit.com/ under Creative Commons license. Read the original.
88 Steve Jobs Quotes – He gave the world a huge vision.
A business magnate and investor, Steve Paul Jobs was the co-founder and chief executive officer of Apple Inc. He was also a shareholder at PIXAR and a member of The Walt Disney Company board of directors. He had a huge vision and shared it with us. He also shared these Steve Jobs quotes for all of us…
Read these Steve Jobs quotes now…
Steve Jobs Quotes
“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
“It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”
Get inspiration from these Steve Jobs quotes…
“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the year roll on.”
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
“I’m as proud of many of the things we haven’t done as the things we have done. Innovation is saying no to a thousand things.”
More Steve Jobs quotes…
Steve Jobs Quotes About Life
“No one wants to die. Even People who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
“Our DNA is a consumer company that individual customers who’s voting thumbs up or thumbs down. That’s who we think about. And we think that our job is to take responsibility for the complete user experience. And if it’s not up to par, it’s our fault, plain and simply.”
And more Steve Jobs quotes…
“You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it’s humorous, all the attention to it, because it’s hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that’s happened to me.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
“It’s not about charisma and personality, it’s about results and products and those very bedrock things that are why people at Apple and outside of Apple are getting more excited about the company and what Apple stands for and what its potential is to contribute to the industry.”
“Quality is more important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles.”
Additional Steve Jobs quotes…
“Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
“My model for business is The Beatles: They were four guys that kept each others’ negative tendencies in check; they balanced each other. And the total was greater than the sum of the parts.”
Steve Jobs Quotes on Leadership
“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations.”
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Find encouragement from these Steve Jobs quotes…
“That’s been one of my mantras—focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex; you have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.”
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful…that’s what matters to me.”
“I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”
Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have a faith in people, that they’re basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.”
“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”
Quotes by Steve jobs
“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”
“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.”
“Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So, it better be damn good. It better be worth it.”
“I want to put a ding in the universe.”
“Details matter, it’s worth waiting to get it right.”
“Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.
“Get closer than ever to your customers. So close that you tell them what they need well before they realize it themselves.”
“When you’re a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers, you’re not going to use a piece of plywood on the back, even though it faces the wall and nobody will ever see it. You’ll know it’s there, so you’re going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back.”
“The doers are the major thinkers. The people that really create the things that change this industry are both the thinker and doer in one person.”
“As individuals, people are inherently good. I have a somewhat more pessimistic view of people in groups. And I remain extremely concerned when I see what’s happening in our country, which is in many ways the luckiest place in the world. We don’t seem to be excited about making our country a better place for our kids.”
“In the broadest context, the goal is to seek enlightenment – however you define it.”
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
“If you don’t love it, you’re going to fail.”
“A lot of people in our industry haven’t had very diverse experiences. So they don’t have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one’s understanding of the human experiences, the better design we will have.”
“For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through.”
“what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.”
“Ultimately, it comes down to taste. It comes down to trying to expose yourself to the best things that humans have done and then try to bring those things into what you’re doing.”
“Bottom line is, I didn’t return to Apple to make a fortune. I’ve been very lucky in my life and already have one. When I was 25, my net worth was $100 million or so. I decided then that I wasn’t going to let it ruin my life. There is no way you could ever spend it all, and I don’t view wealth as something that validates my intelligence.”
“Let’s go invent tomorrow rather than worrying about what happened yesterday.”
“Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it’s really how it works.”
“Once you discover one simple fact, and that is everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that were no smarter than you.”
“I have a great respect for incremental improvement, and I’ve done that sort of thing in my life, but I’ve always been attracted to the revolutionary changes. I don’t know why. Because they’re harder. They’re much more stressful emotionally. And usually go through a period where everybody tells you that you’ve completely failed.”
“I always advise people – Don’t wait! Do something when you are young, when you have nothing to lose, and keep that in mind.”
“And it comes from the saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We’re always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”
“We he had everything to gain. And we figured even if we crash and burn, and lose everything, the experience will have been worth ten times the cost.”
“Everyone here has the sense that right now is one of those moments when we are influencing the future.”
“We are very careful about what features we add because we can’t take them away.”
“One way to remember who you are is to remember who your heroes are.”
“Older people sit down and ask, ‘What is it?’ but the boy asks, ‘What can I do with it?'”
“Now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you, ‘Stay hungry, stay foolish’ ”
“And no, we don’t know where it will lead. We just know there’s something much bigger than any of us.”
“It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the Navy.”
“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. the heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”
“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
“It’s hard to tell with there internet startups if they’re really interested in building companies or if they’re just interested in the money. I can tell you, though: If they don’t really want to build a company, they won’t luck into it. That’s because it’s so hard that if you don’t have a passion, you’ll give up.”
“There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
“When you’re young, you look at television and think, there’s a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want.”
“An iPod, a phone, an internet mobile communicator… these are Not three separate devices! And we are calling it iPhone! Today Apple is going to reinvent the phone. And here it is.”
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know…”
“I’m an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals.
“I think the things you most regret in life are things you didn’t do. What you really regret was never asking that girl to dance.”
Get these Steve Jobs quotes…
“But innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea, or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we’ve been thinking about a problem.”
“I think death is the most wonderful invention of life. It purges the system of these old models that are obsolete.”
“Most people have no concept of how automatic transmission works. Yet they know how to drive a car. You don’t have to study physics to understand the laws of motion to drive a car. You don’t have to understand any of this stuff to use Macintosh.”
“I was lucky, I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20.”
Steve Jobs quotes worth reading…
“These technologies can make life easier, can let us touch people we might not otherwise. You may have a child with a birth defect and be able to get in touch with other parents and support groups, get medical information, the latest experimental drugs. These things can profoundly influence life. I’m not downplaying that.
“You get your wind back, remember the finish line, and keep going.’
“Design is the fundamental soul of a man-made creation that ends up expressing itself in successive outer layers of the product or service. The iMac is not just the color or translucence or the shape of the shell. The essence of the iMac is to be the finest possible consumer computer in which each element plays together.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard on something, but working on Macintosh was the neatest experience of my life. Almost everyone who worked on it will say that. None of us wanted to release it at the end.”
Steve Jobs quotes…
“I’m sorry, it’s true. Having children really changes your view on these things. We’re born we live for a brief instant, and we die. It’s been a long time. Technology is not changing it much- if at all.”
“Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask. And that’s what separates sometimes the people that do things from the people that just dream about them.”
“I think it’s brought the world a lot closer together, and will continue to do that. There are downsides to everything; there are unintended consequences to everything. The most corrosive piece of technology that I’ve ever seen is called television- but then, again, television at its best, is magnificent.”
“If you act like you can do something, then it will work.”
“This revolution, the information revolution, is a revolution of free energy as well, but of another kind: free intellectual energy. It’s very crude today, yet our Macintosh Computer takes less than a 100-watt bulb to run it and it can save you hours a day. What will it be able to do ten to 20 years from now. or 50 years from now?”
You can also read Building Good Habits, Warren Buffett Style
“Life goes on and you learn from it.”
“Innovation has nothing to do with how many R & D dollars you have, When Apple came up with the Mac, IBM was spending at least 100 times more on R & D. It’s not about the money. It’s about the people you have, how you’re led, and how much you get it.”
“The smallest company in the world can look as large as the largest company on the web.”
“To turn really interesting ideas and fledgling technologies into a company that can continue to innovate for years, it requires a lot of disciplines.”
“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.”
“Creativity is just connecting things.”
Steve Jobs quotes just for you…
“It’s not the tools that you have faith in, tools are just tools. They work, or they don’t work. It’s people you have faith in or not. Yeah sure, I’m still optimistic I mean, I get pessimistic sometimes but not for long.”
“Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”
“We want to reinvent the phone. What’s the killer app? The killer app is making calls! It’s amazing how hard it is to make calls on most phones. We want to let you use contacts like never before, sync your iPhone with your PC or Mac.”
Are you enjoying these Steve Jobs quotes? Get inspired by these John Muir quotes…
“I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.”
“Things don’t have to change the world to be important.”
These Steve Jobs quotes are worth a read. These come from the man who gave us a huge vision. The future he saw we are all enjoying now. Read these Steve Jobs quotes to get inspired.
5 Core Practices for Effective Communication
We yearn to talk to someone and be understood. In order to understand and be understood, we need to practice effective communication. Learn the core practices here…
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” –Epictetus
There is one activity we each do every day, all day long, in every area of our lives—at home, at work, with friends, even when we’re alone. The success of our relationships, our work,and life in general rests heavily on it, yet few of us ever receive explicit training in this area.
I’m talking about communication. We’re social creatures, and good communication is perhaps one of the most essential skills for a meaningful life. Poor communication is one of the primary causes of divorce, and as much as 85% of job success comes from having strong soft skills like communication and relationship building.
The fact is, we’ve all had communication training. It’s generally just been unconscious and unintentional—we pick up whatever is around us in our family, culture and society, and do the best we can to get by.
If you’re interested in improving your relationships, advancing in your career, or enhancing your capacity for change in life in general, communication is a powerful lever. Here are five core practices you can start using today to improve your communication. These are both foundations and advanced practices. The difference lies in the quality of your attention and depth of your investigation.
Learn more techniques for effective communication…
- 1. Lead with presence.
- 2. Listen completely for effective communication.
- 3. Come from curiosity and care.
- 4. Focus on what matters.
- 5. Pause; remember the option to stay silent.
1. Lead with presence.
Awareness is the pre-requisite for effective conversation. If we want to understand something or make a meaningful connection, we have to be here first. Yet the habit of multi-tasking rarely stops when we leave our desk. Try to give your full attention to whomever you are speaking with. Put down other thoughts and projects. To help stay present, feel the weight of your body or the sensations in your hands or feet. When speaking, experiment with slowing the pace of your speech down ever so slightly to bring more clarity and choice to your words. Over time, include other forms of communication like talking on the phone, texting, and email.
2. Listen completely for effective communication.
We learn to speak by listening. In the same way, learning to communicate mindfully begins with careful listening. As you engage with others, try to listen whole-heartedly. Make a mental note of important thoughts, questions, or responses as they arise, and return your attention to hearing the other person. What would it be like to just listen?
3. Come from curiosity and care.
The foundation for productive discussion and skillful negotiation is in the quality of connection and understanding we create. When our interactions are driven by an agenda, by getting our way, wanting to win, being right or making a point, we limit the possibilities for mutual understanding and creative outcomes. Instead, see if you can find a genuine intention to understand the other person. Practice cultivating and returning to the simple intention to understand.
4. Focus on what matters.
We often attend primarily to the content of what’s being said, our views, ideas and judgments about it. To create a clearer quality of connection, focus on the underlying needs or objectives. Ask yourself, “What matters about this?” Listening with this kind of attention helps us get beyond surface positions to the underlying values in a situation, thereby creating more room for understanding, collaboration, and creative problem-solving.
It is important to learn what to say and when to say it. Read on for more effective communication from: Words and Phrases to not say to your Partner
5. Pause; remember the option to stay silent.
Learned habits of communication run deep and often come out of our mouth at lightening speed. As with other mindfulness training, slowing down is essential for building skill. Practice pausing before and during speaking. Consider if your words will contribute to mutual understanding and connection.
With email, waiting a few hours or a day to send a message often brings clarity and saves unnecessary complication. One of the most overlooked (and often underutilized) communication tools is holding one’s tongue! It takes restraint, but knowing the right time and place to speak our truth is essential. Try listening or nodding until you have a clearer sense of what will be most useful to share.
These tools can create the conditions for more meaningful conversations. I hope they help bring more ease, understanding, and creativity into your life, your work, and your relationships.
We need to understand one another in order to communicate. In order to send a message or listen, we need to learn about effective communication.
Original article written by Oren Jay Sofer, he is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. He leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication at meditation centers and educational settings around the United States.
Syndicated from Spirituality & Health magazine. S&H was founded in 1998 for people seeking holistic health in body, mind, and spirit. It aspires to help guide the journey to self-knowledge, authenticity, and integration. Its articles draw from the wisdom of many traditions and cultures, with an emphasis on sharing spiritual practices, and look to science to help provide a context for the spiritual quest.
When adversity knocks on your door, who would you be?
Challenges and problems are challenging. Some people might weaken their life because of these. How about you? — When adversity knocks on your door, who would be you? the strogest one or the weakest one?
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see. “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?” Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity — boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial
hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
This will reminds you to become a stronger person than you think. And learn to think many times your decision before you do.
Building Good Habits, Warren Buffett Style
“Buffett thought for a few seconds and then reached for the stack of reports, trade publications and other papers he had brought with him. “Read 500 pages like this everyday” said Buffett, or words to that effect. “That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it.”
And you know what, he is right. Not many of you will do it.
That’s the haunting part. Not many will do it. The sea of amateurs comes from this failure to faithfully commit to the unglamorous daily effort, but the top performers in any field usually have this in common. They understand the “compound interest effect.” Small, steady consistent accrual over time builds a massive bank.
If you aren’t contributing daily – measurably – to some bank of talent or education, you are short changing yourself of a richer life. Here’s a simple way to change that:
- Pick something you’d like to do. It may be reading, cycling, weight training, meditation or learning a new skill.
- Pick a metric that you can measure. This might be pages read, weight lifted, distance run, minutes meditating =, or any other concrete number.
- Create a spreadsheet or journal where you can faithfully and consistently record your effort.
- Pick a starting point which is “too easy not to do.” Even if it’s one page, one pound, or one minute, make it absolutely achievable, regardless of your willpower.
- Schedule a time, preferably first thing in the morning, to pursue your chosen activity. Scheduling is important. Put it on your calendar, because things on your calendar tend to get done.
- Show up, do the work, record your effort.
- Repeat daily, gradually increasing the amount of work you put in to a sustainable, productive level.
Don’t place expectations on where this effort will lead, or if it is worth your time. Simply respect the practice and watch your efforts build over time. As your knowledge, strength, endurance, or attention grows, you’ll be surprised how important it becomes.
Then without realising you will have developed a new habit.
Some of Warren Buffett’s famous Quotes
The first rule is not to lose. The second rule is not to forget the first rule.
It’s better to hang out with people better than you, … Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.
Value is what you get.
We enjoy the process far more than the proceeds.
Risk is a part of God’s game, alike for men and nations.
Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars.
If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians
Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.
In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.
There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.
We simply attempt to be fearful when others are greedy and to be greedy only when others are fearful.
Why not invest your assets in the companies you really like? As Mae West said, Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
101 Inspirational Yoda Quotes from the Jedi Master
- Yoda Quotes
- Famous yoda quotes
- Star Wars Quotes Yoda
- Master Yoda Quotes
- Yoda Quotes The Last Jedi
- Best Yoda Quotes
- “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda, a Force-sensitive male being belonging to a mysterious species, was a legendary Jedi Master who witnessed the rise and fall of the Galactic Republic, followed by the rise of the Galactic Empire. Small in stature but revered for his wisdom and power, Yoda trained generations of Jedi, ultimately serving as the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.
Yoda is small in stature but revered for his wisdom and power, Yoda trained generations of Jedi, ultimately serving as the Grand Master of the Jedi Order. Having lived through nine centuries of galactic history, Yoda played integral roles in the Clone Wars, the rebirth of the Jedi through Luke Skywalker, and unlocking the path to immortality.
Born 900 years before the Battle of Endor, Yoda belonged to an ancient and mysterious species. As he was keenly attuned to the Force, he joined the Jedi Order as a youngling.
Yoda was the leading expert at the use of the force. The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together. See More Yoda Quotes.
Famous yoda quotes
The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun, the Clone War has.”
The shadow of greed, attachment is. What you fear to lose, train yourself to release. Let go of fear, and loss cannot harm you.
The more we learn, the more we discover how much we do not know.
The dark side. Always it speaks to us, from our pain. Our grief. It connects our pain to all pain, our hurt to all hurt.
So great life is, to finish it no way there is. The more you would enter into it, the vaster would be the possibilities that open their doors.
Silence is not simply calmness or quietude. Over all words and thoughts it implies transcendence. A state of beyond, a state of pervasive peace, it denotes.
Poetic you become when in love you are. In love continuously are those people who are called poets.
Out of acceptance comes wisdom. Not an acquirement wisdom is, not knowledge wisdom is, not information. This quality of tremendous acceptance is wisdom.
201 Yoga Quotes to Inspire your Daily Rituals
Of your ability, sure you are. Yet between sureness and pride, a small step it is.
Of the moment, be. In the moment, live. The art of remaining in the present, learn. Neither the past nor the future exists.
No greater gift there is, than a generous heart.
Never step in the same river twice can you. Each time the river hurries on. Each time he that steps has changed
Listening to music sometimes, a window opens and happy you are.
Like reflections in the mirror thoughts are, clouds passing in the sky, but not the clouds the sky is. Desires, memories, imagination, they all come and go.
Just disconnect. Once in a day sometime, sit silently and from all connections disconnect yourself
If routine you count on, disappointed your hopes will be.
Each choice, the branch of a tree is? what looked like a decision, is after only a pattern of growth.
Concentrate on what I know is true while I wait for the mud to settle and the water to become clear.
Close your mouth and open your ears, you must. Then hear what your true heart is seeking, you will.
Better things than fighting, should a Jedi Master be doing! Seeking wisdom. Finding balance.
Star Wars Quotes Yoda
Arduous is discovering oneself, going on the greatest exploration it is.
Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight.
Always more questions than answers, there are.
Age more than a count of heartbeats is. Age is how many mistakes you have made.
A decision is yours alone to make. Yet remember you should that you make it also for the silent ones who stand at your shoulder.
“You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.”
“Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.”
“The history of items, does the Force permit Vos to understand. The history of a soul, does the Force permit me to understand.”
“Secret, shall I tell you? Grand Master of Jedi Order am I. Won this job in a raffle I did, think you? ‘How did you know, how did you know, Master Yoda? Master Yoda knows these things. His job it is.”
“Reckless he is. Matters are worse.”
“Luminous beings are we… not this crude matter.”
“If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did, you will become an agent of evil.”
“I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend… at last, the Jedi are no more.”
“Hmm. To a dark place this line of thought will carry us. Great care we must take.”
“Already know you that which you need.”
“A challenge lifelong it is, not to bend fear into anger.”
The greatest teacher, failure is.
Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will.
Master Yoda Quotes
In the end, cowards are those who follow the dark side.
250 Zig Ziglar Quotes Made To Inspire You
Clear your mind must be if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot.
“You think Yoda stops teaching, just because his student does not want to hear? A teacher Yoda is. Yoda teaches like drunkards drink, like killers kill.”
“You fail because you don’t believe.”
“Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.”
“Through the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future… the past. Old friends long gone.”
“Smaller in number are we, but larger in mind.”
“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”
“If you end your training now– if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did-— you will become an agent of evil.”
“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained.”
“Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.”
“In this war, a danger there is of losing who we are.”
“In a dark place we find ourselves, and a little more knowledge lights our way.”
Yoda Quotes The Last Jedi
“If no mistake you have made, losing you are. A different game you should play.”
“Decide you must, how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.”
“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”
“Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things.”
“A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
“A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm_”
“You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
“You think Yoda stops teaching, just because his student does not want to hear? A teacher Yoda is. Yoda teaches like drunkards drink, like killers kill.”
“To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose. Give off light, or darkness, Padawan. Be a candle, or the night.”
“Soon will I rest, yes, forever sleep. Earned it I have. Twilight is upon me, soon night must fall.”
“Smaller in number are we, but larger in mind.”
Already know you that which you need
Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see
Best Yoda Quotes
Control, control, you must learn control!
I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience
At an end your rule is, and not short enough it was!
Enjoying Yoda quotes? You might want to check 101 Romeo and Juliet Quotes
On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain
To answer power with power, the Jedi way this is not. In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are
Not if anything to say about it I have
I was not strong enough to defeat him. Like his master before him, be destroyed, he must
Around the survivors a perimeter create
Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice
Named must your fear be, before banish it you can
You will find only what you bring in
The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.
If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find
May the Force be with you
More quotes to enjoy! Check out 301 Meditation Quotes to inspire your practice
Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future
Truly wonderful the mind of a child is
Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering
When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back
You must unlearn what you have learned
Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you
If you end your training now — if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did — you will become an agent of evil
Always pass on what you have learned
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
Is this the most famous Yoda Quote of all time, it certainly is my favourite.
“Always with you what cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?…You must unlearn what you have learned….Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
“Your path you must decide.”
“Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.”
206 Stress Quotes to help you to find Relaxation
“There’s no doubt the mysterious warrior was a Sith.
Always two, there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice.
“Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.”
“Like fire across the galaxy the Clone Wars spread. In league with the wicked Count Dooku, more and more planets slip. Against this threat, upon the Jedi Knights falls the duty to lead the newly formed army of the Republic. And as the heat of war grows, so, to, grows the prowess of one most gifted student of the Force.”
“Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced may be. As is your faith in the dark side of the Force. “
“Only the Dark Lord of the Sith knows of our weakness. If informed the senate is, multiply our adversaries will.”
“The boy you trained, gone he is. Consumed by Darth Vader.”
“Pain, suffering, death I feel. Something terrible has happened. Young Skywalker is in pain. Terrible pain”
201 Healing Quotes to Lighten your Heart
“Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him you will.”
“Urm. Put a shield on my saber I must”
“Much to learn you still have…my old padawan.” … “This is just the beginning!”
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